Why Men Stop Doing Romantic Things (And How to Fix It)

Do you ever wonder why your husband used to do all the romantic things—plan dates, bring you flowers, write you sweet notes—but now it feels like that’s all disappeared?

I used to think my husband had just changed—that the excitement of our early years had faded and this was just how marriage worked.

But then I learned something shocking: Men stop doing romantic things when they feel like they can’t win.

In the early days of our relationship, I was over-the-moon about everything he did. When he planned a date, I gushed about how amazing it was. When he held my hand, I melted. He felt like my hero.

But over time, without even realizing it, I started criticizing instead of appreciating.

"Why did you pick this restaurant?"

"I don’t really like roses—why didn’t you get me tulips?"

"That date was fun, but I wish we did something more exciting."

I thought I was just sharing my opinions, but to him, it felt like nothing he did was good enough. So he stopped trying.

Once I realized this, I made a change.

I started celebrating every little effort—even if it wasn’t perfect. When he brought home my favorite snack, I smiled and told him how thoughtful he was. When he planned a simple date, I leaned into the fun instead of nitpicking.

The more I appreciated, the more he did.

Romance isn’t dead—it just needs appreciation to thrive.